Ann Forti, the blogger and podcaster of Mum-Encouraging-Mum, interviewed Ashley Kellogg in early 2021. When much of the world might think you do not have enough room or financial means to love and care for yet another child, the light of Christ shines forth, paving way for another faith journey and adventure. Now let us hear Ashley tell her adoption story.
A big family of 14 special children
Where the Journey Starts
It's kind of a long story. I'm trying to shorten it as much as possible. My husband and I are both trained elementary school teachers, and our hearts’ desire and calling have always been working with underprivileged children. Early on in our marriage, we talked about how adoption be a part of our family, and we pursued many different avenues from the first time we spoke about adoption until we brought our first two kids home from China was ten years.
We pursued working at a group home in Chicago first just helping with underprivileged children back when we only had two kids at the time. We went through one year interview process and were advised against us having more children. Although having felt called to have many children in our home, we stepped out of that year long process, accepting this was not for us. Later we found out we were pregnant with our third. We were then encouraged by our friends who told us that we could work with underprivileged children in your home through foster care. So we went ahead and applied for foster care.
Ashley and Paul married in 2002 | Growing Kellogg’s with 4 children
Pursuing Foster Care
A year and year half later once we went through all the process, we were denied a foster license in 2006 because we already had too many young children. We had then three children under the age of four. They said we would not be a good match for foster care. We pursued foster care again when our kids were getting older. I actually found out we were pregnant with our fifth when we were applying the second time. Indiana had changed their rule that there could not be more than five kids in the home including both biological and foster care children. Since we were pregnant with our fifth, we were denied the license again in 2009.
Our Miracle Baby of Special Needs
The process of foster care was very disappointing to us, however, the birth of our fifth changed our whole life. Myra was born a couple months after our foster license application was denied second time. She suffered a significant brain injury, the cause of which we could never understand. She was just somehow stressed in the womb and stopped moving. We went to the hospital and ended up having emergency cesarian section within a couple hours. She was in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) for 30 days and came home being told initially to let her go and not to resuscitate. They believed she would be going to be a vegetable. We let the Lord lead our way, praying he would heal her body. We found that she started to grow, though her development was definitely delayed. She was not developing normally. We started down that path of therapies and seeing specialists. She had a seizure disorder and had G tube put in for feedings. It took us two to three years to really get handle of her care and to understand her special needs. At that time we had five children under the age of 6, being so busy that we really didn't talk about adoption or add more children.
Welcome Myra
Pursuing Adoption
My heart for underprivileged children remained unchanged, and I was definitely still looking for an opportunity to foster. Although we were not approved for fostering in 2009, we were approved to adopt through their special needs adoption program that was applicable to all children in foster care and over the age of two. The program is under DCS (Department of Children Services) and called SNAP (Special Needs Adoption Program). We were given permission to adopt children under SNAP, though not to faster or faster to adopt. It was only for special needs kids but anyone over the age of two under foster care system is considered special needs.
In 2013, we submitted twenty-two applications for children across the nation but never got responses. Most of our applications were sibling groups as they are where my heart is, considering it is harder to place. We later found that they just did not see us as a viable - having five children with one child of significant special needs. When they saw our information, they throwed us off the pile. DCS eventually told us to pursue adoption through the state of Indiana. However they had at that time no children under the age of ten and would not consider the younger because our oldest then was 10. We were actually interested in parenting children of different ages, but they didn't think that was for us.
Change Direction, Go International
We decided to get our own home study so DCS would not ask us to purchase or re-use the home study that they had done. Such a private agency will certify that you have enough rooms and enough finances. They look at your history and your marriage, assuring a safe family for adoptive children, before approving you to adopt. Such a home study is not cheap, costing upwards of $2000. We put together the money and went to a private agency. We sat down with them, sharing our story and our heart. I remember leaving that appointment so devastated. The agent said she has been doing this for 30 years and they will never think that we're a viable option. They would never pursue my family to be an adoptive family through DCS. Then we asked about infant adoption, though that was not our goal. She did not think possible either as she had never seen a child placed in a home that had more than three children. She suggested we really should look at international adoptions. You know we lived on one income, and I was homeschooling mom. We had five kids with one special needs. An international adoption of 30k plus just does not seem on the table.
Christmas Prayers
During Christmas of 2013, I was praying, saying I'm just going to have that sixth child that we always talked about, and Lord, I’ve been pursuing this for 8-9 years. I remember very clearly hearing Lord is saying to me that you will not have another child by birth before you adopt. I remember thinking how that is going to happen because I am going to have another child.
In Christmas Eve, we received an e-mail from that adoption home city agency. She told us a program that might work for us. With that program, they often place siblings in the Philippines. It is also one of the cheaper international adoptions. We reviewed the files and found two little girls, Sally and Larma in the Philippines. They were healthy siblings, around the ages of my two girls at the time, nine and six. We pursued their adoption, saying to Lord that if this is what you have for us, you are going to bring us the money, so we are able to apply in January. Unfortunately, we're not chosen for those two girls and we felt devastating. Our whole family was really on board for that. I continue to research international adoptions if this is what you want me to pursue, Lord.
Frannie from China
We did a lot of research on international adoption and ended up watching a sweet video of a family whom we keep in touch with on Facebook. They were bringing home their little boy Archie from Bulgaria, the boy happened to have Down syndrome. I watched the video so many hundreds of times and did so much research on Down syndrome once I fell in love with this little boy. I remember taking all the information to my husband and saying if he would even consider the option like this.
We talked it over for about a month. He went on Reese's Rainbow which is a website dedicated to advocating for children who have Down syndrome and need to be adopted. We found a little girl whom we named Frannie and decided to pursue her adoption from China. I remember thinking we will never be able to afford China adoption. How do they look at us as a viable family as well our income. However our agency encouraged us and said they have waivers on some requirements and they are more open when you're adopting kids with special needs. So we pursued her file and actually were matched then in June 2014.
We started this China adoption process and felt very overwhelming. It costs upwards of $35,000 which is beyond our means, but we knew that was what the Lord was telling us to do. We did so much fundraising. What people do not know is that there are a lot of grants we found out about. Even prior to applying I knew that there were grants that we could apply for. I was pretty encouraged that we would be able to get some of those with our size of family and the type of need we were adapting. We just left it in Lord’s hands.
Frannie and Finton from China
Not One but Two and One Birth
Honestly, we didn't know how we were going to figure all out. My desire then was also for bringing home two kids at the same time as we always wanted to adopt siblings. I requested our agency to look for the file of a boy, younger than Frannie, almost going behind my husband's back. They had sent me a couple files that just didn't feel right for our family. I remember just then searching through advocacy pages on Facebook and looking at lots of little faces. I came upon this little boy with blonde hair and a pink coat. My heart jumped. I knew he had albinism, and I was shocked that that was a need. Albinism is a genetic disorder that causes lack of pigmentation in skin and hair. It also affects their visions, might be legally blind. However, it is still a minor need. A little bit vision impairment might require glasses and sensitive skin could be managed. However this condition in China was treated so severe that they would abandon them. We decided to pursue the file of this little boy, whom we named Finton, in addition to little girl Franny.
A little bit of back story - my husband has two aunts and two uncles who had albinism and he grew up hearing about these stories. They all passed before the age of eight because they also had a blood disorder. So when I saw this little boy, I thought of this family story immediately.
Therefore, we pursued his file. We actually had to fight for his file that we almost had to change the agency because they did not want us to add another child. They said oh that is too much for you guys and kept saying you guys can't handle it. We eventually wrote three-page letter to the agency and let them know how we thought that we could manage it by adopting both at once. Eventually we are able to pursue his file and get matched with him. It was a battle worth fighting as I knew from the time I saw him that he was ours.
Frannie and Finton came home together in 2015. We actually found out we were pregnant right before we left for China. It is incredible that Lord said that we would adopt before we birth another child. We did adopt in 2015, not one but two, and we had a baby girl Trixie early 2016.
Frannie and Finton with their baby sister Trixie
Theo, a Baby with Down Syndrome
When Trixie was about two years old, we saw a file of an infant with Down syndrome who needed a family. It required a family with their home study ready. Although we did have our home study done, we were required to get a new one completed. Nevertheless, we still requested to pursue this little boy. However they had already had many families apply for. We were told that there were a lot of families, 30 to 40 with Down syndrome in the United States each year looking for adoption families. So we decided to get a new home study done and be ready when another opportunity would present itself. In early 2018, we completed our home study. We learned one organization called Special Angels Adoption and a national Down syndrome adoption network. Both agencies advocate for children with special needs here in the United States. They also work through DCFS (Department of Children and Families), so they have children who come through foster care as well. The special angels works with all kinds of special needs. We got ourselves registered with both as their waiting families. We would pursue a child with Down syndrome, but we were open to other special needs. Because of our daughter Myra, we can care those with brain injury and seizures.
In the next nine months, we applied for 14 placements and got lots of notes. None of them resulted in an adoption. It has to be Lord's timing; our child would be waiting for us. In about nine months, we saw our little boy Theodore in early 2019; he was two months at the time. Both of his parents were from Mongolia. They moved here when they were teenagers and now live in Washington. When he was born, they were just overwhelmed with his special needs and didn't feel like they could parent him well. Therefore, they were looking for a family who had more experience. They actually requested a family who had other Asian children in the home. That is why they selected us even though they initially preferred a smaller family. We went really fast and brought him home in March. He is so and so cute; he's almost two now.
Baby Theo
Second-Chance Adoption
Because I follow Special Angels on Facebook, I would see their posts. They generally will get files, be in contact with families of children, and contact people on their registry. In early July 2019, they posted two Asian boys, eleven and six, who were looking for homes. I contacted our agent Sarah and asked why these children would be looking for homes. I come to find out that some adoptive families brought home their children internationally but found out the children had more special needs than what the files documented. They were not prepared for the level of their needs. These families struggle for their kids and some of them choose to find a different placement for them. This is referred to as second-chance adoption.
This was the case for the 6-year-old boy named Micah. He came to his original adoptive family with significantly more needs than the family were expecting. They thought some mild cerebral palsy (CP), but he ended up with some significant physical and medical needs - seizure disorder, very delayed speech. He functioned at the level of two-year-old though he was six. We got matched with his family and brought him home at the very beginning of August of 2019. This was four months after Theo’s replacement. This little guy was from Virginia, so we went all the way over to Virginia pick him up.
My last little boy has been home 10 days. I think seeing many families waiting to be matched with their children and also seeing many children waiting for adoption families through during the pandemic. Many families were so ready to go to China at the beginning of 2020 but still were unable to travel. My heart was just stirred again for waiting children, so I reached out to an international adoption agency who helped the adoption of our son Micah. We asked if they had any children they were advocating for and they were about in same situation as Micah. They were actually advocating for a 7-year-old little boy named Bryant that sounds a lot like your Micah. This family was overwhelmed with his speech delay, though he actually had less needs than Micah overall. We applied for his placement. Even though his family learned we were having ten children, they still accepted us as a good placement for him. So we just went and got him on the 5th.
Bryant and Micah, given a second chance
Their Journey Continued
Since this interview, the Kellogg have added more children. Both Islande and Lottie came through second-chance adoption, both suffering from brain injury and seizures. Islande, now 12-year-old, originally from Haiti and Lottie, now 12-year-old, originally from China in 2018. Last year Ashley gave birth to Norie, a beautiful and healthy baby girl, through embryo adoption. Although the couple do not have issue of infertility and they could produce their own. However they chose unwanted embryo to give life a chance.
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